The Dangers of Lawnmower Parenting: How Overprotectiveness Hinders Child DevelopmentÂ
In an era where parental involvement in children’s lives is at an all-time high, a new breed of parenting has emerged: the lawnmower parent. These parents go beyond the traditional helicopter parenting style, not merely hovering over their children but actively clearing away any obstacles in their path. While their intentions are rooted in ensuring their children’s success and happiness, experts argue that this approach may inadvertently hinder the development of crucial life skills such as problem-solving, conflict resolution, and resilience.
Lawnmower parents take extreme measures to shield their children from even the slightest discomfort or failure. A notable example is a Missouri mother who sued her son’s high school after he didn’t make the varsity soccer team. In another instance, a father took time off work to deliver an insulated water bottle to his teenager, sparing her the “indignity” of using the school water fountain for a single day. One mother even contacted a teacher to request an extension on her son’s assignment rather than encouraging him to ask for it himself.
These actions embody the essence of lawnmower parenting: removing all potential hurdles so that children can glide through life unchallenged. However, as Duquesne University professor Karen Fancher highlights in her blog post, this well-intentioned parenting style can have long-lasting, detrimental effects. By constantly intervening, lawnmower parents inadvertently communicate to their children that they are incapable of handling challenges on their own.
The consequences of this approach can be profound. Children raised by lawnmower parents often struggle with basic tasks and decision-making. They lack personal motivation and drive because they are accustomed to following a pre-cleared path. Additionally, these children may develop a deep-seated belief that they are not competent or trustworthy, as they have never been given the chance to prove themselves.
A blogger from WeAreTeachers points out that shielding children from struggle does not lead to a happier generation. Instead, it creates young adults who panic or shut down at the first sign of failure. Without the experience of overcoming obstacles, these individuals are more likely to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms like addiction, blame, and internalization when faced with difficulties.
Stephanie Samar, a clinical psychologist at the Mood Disorders Center of the Child Mind Institute, explained on “Good Morning America” that focusing on short-term parenting goals undermines the development of essential long-term skills such as resilience, grit, and effective problem-solving. For instance, rather than asking for an extension on a child’s behalf, parents should encourage their children to advocate for themselves, fostering independence and confidence.
Educators have also weighed in on this issue, offering advice to lawnmower parents as they prepare for the upcoming school year. Jennifer Simpson of Houston, Texas, emphasizes the importance of allowing students to experience challenges and even failure within the safe environment of school. She believes that facing and overcoming difficulties in school equips children with the coping skills needed for more significant challenges later in life. “The loving arms of parents can help them process pain and console them, but they don’t need to prevent it,” she asserts.
Elizabeth Rich from Atlanta, Georgia, urges parents to reflect on their own experiences of growth and character-building. She suggests that meaningful personal development often arises from overcoming hardships rather than breezing through life unchallenged. By removing obstacles, parents may deprive their children of valuable opportunities for growth, maturity, and kindness.
Renee C. Johannesen from Fredericksburg, Virginia, warns that continued lawnmower parenting will result in a generation lacking coping skills. Meanwhile, Mary Grebe from Bethpage, New York, reassures parents with a simple yet powerful message: “We got this.” Her sentiment encourages parents to trust educators and the educational process, allowing children to learn from their experiences.
In conclusion, while lawnmower parents aim to create a smooth path for their children, this approach may do more harm than good. By constantly safeguarding children from failure and discomfort, parents risk depriving them of essential life skills. Educators and experts alike advocate for a balanced approach, where children are given the opportunity to face challenges, learn from their mistakes, and develop the resilience needed to navigate the complexities of life.