Children bring happiness, they are the synonym of happiness for married couples. But with happiness, they also bring chaos, a lot of it! With all the chaos and the hectic schedule that involves the whole life around children, we often think that kids bring more stress into a marriage.However, new research suggests that it’s actually not the child who stresses a woman in marriage, it’s the husband. The research suggests that a huge number of women feel like they are the parent to their children as well as their husbands.
Husbands give stress to a woman twice as much as their children
Unfortunately, for a number of women, as challenging as motherhood could be, their partners do have a greater affect on their stress levels. A survey of approximately 7,000 mothers was carried out, that showed that the average mother rates her levels of stress 8.5 out of 10. Also, forty-six per cent of mothers say that their partners are causing more stress compared to their children.In addition, researchers also found that:
• One in every five mothers claims that she doesn’t have enough help from their husbands, which can be a great source of stress on a daily basis.
• Three in every four mothers with partners note that they do most of the household and parenting duties.
• Most mothers stress about not having enough time to do what should be done.
Additionally, researchers at the University of Padova concluded that when husbands lose their female partners, their health starts deteriorating, whereas when wives lose their male partners, they cope with stress very well and become healthier. Researchers concluded it was because the husbands relied more heavily on their wives than vice versa.
Inequality in a foundation that is based upon equality
Marriage is a setting of a relationship between two people who promise to stick to each other together, through all the thick and thins. However, the thick and thins are never evenly distributed and one person takes the burden more than the other.
It has been a glorious journey to acquire a similar place in the world as men, alas! There still remains a lot of struggles in the everyday life of a woman which are being overlooked; only because things have been the same way since the beginning of the time. Here, every day struggles mean the time they spend inside the house; mostly in the kitchen.
Let’s take a look at how the burden falls just upon the woman:
• The secret to a happy marriage is love, compassion, companionship, dedication and what not but all of these terms fade away when it comes to equality in the household chores. There’s no denying that the situation of the women in our society has changed a lot as now they are ‘allowed’ to be working professionals and earn a living for the family. But once she is back home from the office, she has to put all of her sustained energy into the household chores.
• While the whole male community has been emphasising over the fact that women are physically weaker, they themselves are often quite ignorant about this fact. If a husband and wife both are working for equal hours then why only the woman is supposed to prepare the breakfast, lunch, do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, dusting and everything. If both of them are doing a 9 to 5 job, then why can’t the woman be as tired as they are?
• Even if men cook dinner for their spouse, that day is supposed to be a ‘special’ one. What needs to be changed is the mindset behind it. Marriage will become happier if men are often found working in the kitchen with their wives; not as a favour but as a responsibility.
• When it comes to the upbringing of the child, since the day a child is born it’s mostly the mother’s responsibility to take care of all his needs. Though times have changed a lot and men are surprisingly quite involved in the day-to-day need of their child, but still, the maximum burden is on the woman. It has been proven that being involved with the spouse equally in the house brings the family even closer. Children look up to their parents and this could be the best lesson.
Time to Put Down the Cape
It is not completely the husband’s fault though, as women are trained to take the whole burden upon themselves and men, they are taught how to just let themselves lose as wife handles it all. It would make things easier for women if just for once they give up on their superwoman capes and take a step back. They might not trust their husbands with parenting and other household chores but if we look at single fathers, they do a commendable job. Maybe just letting the burden off their shoulders and trusting their partners a bit more could help women with an easier life.